Photo by Maureen Kennedy Macel
"A Good Life" presents a special Lenten guest blog post by Maureen Kennedy Macel (Part 4):
Day 23 Thursday March 12 - [F] No TV or screens today (except for homework)
RO: What does it mean to live forever? To have no time constraint at all. Time would really be on our side. We are invited by God into eternity. // Eternal life with God is life of the very best kind. That’s what we’re invited into, but it is not necessarily what we’re all going to get. We are invited but we have to respond. // We are either going to have an eternity of life with God - or life without God, apart with him, and that would be life of the very worst kind.
Jeremiah 7: 23-28
Thus says the LORD: This is what I commanded my people: Listen to my voice; then I will be your God and you shall be my people. Walk in all the ways that I command you, so that you may prosper.
Luke 11: 14-23
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters
This was harder than it should have been today. It took a lot of talking myself out of giving up to stay away from a screen today after work. It forced me to do something else - and just sit and relax quietly. During my “relaxing” every few minutes I felt like I wanted to give up. It must have been the athlete in me that helped me always say no, plus some prayers praying to not be weak over such a stupid thing to be weak over.
What good is a challenge if all you do is give up when it’s challenging?
And so instead I sat and updated my journal - which I haven’t done for 1.5 months. I could remember about two weeks and random things here and there. It was definitely worth denying myself the screen because I will now always have those two weeks “remembered” where I otherwise would sure enough have soon forgotten, similar to how I am sure everything I would have otherwise seen on a screen would be forgotten by tomorrow.
Though should I take solace in the fact that this was after 1.5 hours of working on my Easter wood project? So I was both productive and not in front of a screen. Or should I be disheartened that I only had a wee bit of night left to make it thru and struggled every moment?
Day 24 Friday March 13 - [S] Invite someone to your house for dinner
RO: We live in a world that is dark and scary. // But we are called as Christians to be lights shining like stars in the midst of that world. // Judge less - we have the freedom to love people regardless of who they are and how they are acting. We are not the judge of the world so we can love without having to worry that we love someone too much. We are never going to get to the judgement seat of heaven and have God say, “Sorry, you just loved too much.” // Pray - Pray with someone else. What if you said “Can I pray for you?” and you just did it right then? // Invite - We have all kinds of access to the lights of Christ. What if you invited some people into that light? // God is calling you to be the light to the world this Lent. Can you do it?
Hosea 14: 2-10
“I am like a verdant cypress tree”– Because of me you bear fruit! Let him who is wise understand these things;
let him who is prudent know them. Straight are the paths of the LORD, in them the just walk, but sinners stumble in them.
Mark 12: 28-34
One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him, “Which is the first of all the commandments?”
Jesus replied, “The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Last Sunday I had huge hopes for myself for this one. Come day of what did I do? Took the lazy way out. Bridgette was coming over anyways so I invited her to dinner … that counts? I mean, we ate together. It was nice. We definitely had a nice conversation. But I think this barely counts as doing.
Day 25 Saturday March 14 - [Journey]
RO: Snow covers everything. // The earth is going to warm up and this snow will not just stay on the top it will melt and become water and it will get into the earth. That’s when it changes the earth. // Will you let your hard heart soften? Will you let your cold heart melt? And will you let the word of God, that descends from the heavens, accomplish the purpose for which He descended? To make you not just look nice but to make you new.
Hosea 6: 1-6
For it is love that I desire, not sacrifice, and knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings
Luke 18: 9-14
But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
I realized as I lay in bed last night that I felt content. I think it is the contentment that I have been searching for. To not want things. To be happy with what I have. This feeling felt so freeing and peaceful. I wanted that feeling to last, and if it couldn’t last I at least wanted it to be repeated. That feeling lasted about one minute, but it was a very blissful minute. Then in the morning it’s not that I forgot the feeling -- rather, I was motivated by it -- but it’s that the day came and life came and I went out into the day to do what needed to be done.
This Lent and taking a step back in life though has been the key I have been searching for. I feel like I have unlocked a way to not perhaps be content but to find contentment. To pause. Slow down. Purposely remove myself from the “daily grind”. Get in touch with my spiritual self more fully. Live with God ever present in my heart and mind.
While is ideal to always enter every day with God on your heart and mind and then proceed to keep Him there in everything you do -- that can get to be quite challenging! Depending on the day you might have to really work on it. And I think I am someone who thinks she generally does a decent job at keeping God closeby and living the way He would want me to live, and yet it is still hard. And this Lent has shown me that no matter how “on the path” we may think we are there is always room for improvement.
Our journey in life should be to become like God. And the fact that we fail often and always have room for improvement is not something that should make us give up. Rather: What an opportunity! We are here, struggling day to day to be more Christ-like. And who do we have to look to for an example of how to live? Jesus! Jesus was the most impressive role model. And it’s not that His holiness should intimidate us but rather it should give us comfort that He lived as man, struggled just like you and I, and still chose God. And by choosing God, by sacrificing His own life for us, we can come to know just how great God is. This earth is temporary so on our journeys we need to work hard to not succumb to the day-to-day, because in striving to become like God we will achieve eternal life with God.
Update: On Sunday I popped into a store to just buy socks for Nora. Of course they put the baby stuff in the way back so you have to walk thru everything. I was not tempted to look around the store at all. I didn’t want things. On the way out though I could already feel that contentment starting to slip. I saw one shirt and was like “ooo that’s nice” -- and in that moment I got to see how easy it is to forget how great following God so fully makes me feel.
Is it easy to get distracted by the meaningless things in this world and lose perspective? All too easily so! Being close to God is something that I need to work on every day. He is always there with me, I need to make sure I stay with Him. Being conscious of how I live each day is half the battle. Because God makes me aware of my weakness He has given me a better opportunity to choose Him. I can pause, realize where I might be going off the path He prefer I was on, and then work to choose Him in all things.
Day 26 Sunday March 15 - [F] No snacks between meals all day
RO: I can’t see God right now. I feel so alone. // The key to seeing Christ in relationships is that power to be able to be vulnerable with each other. // Seeing Jesus in others is about being vulnerable to each other. In those dark moments of life - all those anxieties, hurts, fears - they really do keep us from seeing Christ in others. // How do we see Christ? What are those things that keep us from really seeing Him? // Lord. we want to see you. Teach us to show you our own hearts so that we can see yours.
2 Chronicles 36: 14-16, 19-23
Early and often did the LORD, the God of their fathers, send his messengers to them, for he had compassion on his people and his dwelling place. But they mocked the messengers of God, despised his warnings, and scoffed at his prophets, until the anger of the LORD against his people was so inflamed that there was no remedy.
Ephesians 2: 4-10
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so no one may boast. For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them.
Not eating is a struggle for me. I ate breakfast and a late brunch and by 2pm I was already finding it difficult to not eat. I ate dinner at 5:30 and even had a late dinner at 9:30 (everyone eats four square meals a day, right?) which is when Ryan finally ate his dinner. Even so I felt hungry.
And today I risked just thinking about myself and that I was hungry. Fortunately I remembered more about the larger picture than my miniscule existence. If I think I am hungry after just three hours of not eating what do people who are actually hungry feel like? And why I don’t do more to “feed the hungry”?
I have a blessed life of food when I need it. I have the luxury of going “hungry” by choice and can immediately end my physical hunger whenever I choose. Even during the night I looked forward to the morning when I would break my fast, but again I am fortunate in that I have plenty to eat whenever I want it. (Being too lazy to make something on the other hand when “we have nothing to eat” is just laziness… and hyperbole.)
It was a coincidentally convenient time for a letter to arrive from the Light of Life Rescue Mission about providing meals this Easter season. The message from God today was very clear and an actual message: “Turn this [F] day into an [A] day - Donate!”
For $2.34 I can provide a meal for a hungry, homeless person. How simple! How cheap! How can I not?
This Easter I eat in spirit with my less fortunate brothers and sisters. But I am doing it virtually and I know if I was in person I would not put a price tag on the meal - whoever needed to eat would eat - there would be no table big enough and God would provide me with the fun challenge to just give what I had for Him. But here I am doing it online and I have to pick how many (or more accurately, how few) I will feed. I can justify to myself that feeding one is better than feeding none, but I know what I do cannot be enough to meet the need.
But fortunately God knows this and He is not asking me to solve this problem for everyone. He is asking me to simply “do”. And if I respond to God’s call then what I am doing is enough - no matter how big or how small. It is not the degree that matters but rather the fact that “I did”. Because I am not alone in doing. I have brothers and sisters around me who also “do for the Lord”. It may not be everyone’s call to respond in this way because God speaks to us in many ways and calls us each according to where He knows we need to go. But I know this is where He has called me today and so I will humbly follow. God is the Light of Life!
Day 27 Monday March 16 - [S] Give someone real or paper flowers
RO: One of the defining characteristics of human beings is glory. // What is interesting about God is that He takes this desire for glory and He shifts it a little bit and gives us an interesting example of what he sees as glory. // The most glorious thing that has ever happened in the history of humanity was the death and resurrection of Jesus. When Jesus was hanging on the cross that was glory. // Death is not something we need to fear or flee from. He has totally twisted it. Now death has become a source of glory. // It is only by putting on the mind of Christ, by following Him, by saying “Yes” to him, and actually dying to ourselves and becoming His disciple that we achieve glory. // Christ understands that if you die with Him you also rise with Him. // The most glorious people in the world are those in heaven. Let’s be glorious.
Isaiah 65:17
Thus says the LORD: Lo, I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; The things of the past shall not be remembered or come to mind. Instead, there shall always be rejoicing and happiness in what I create;
John 4: 43-54
Jesus said to him, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.”
All day I thought over who to give flowers to. I planned on just making some flowers too, mainly because it would be cheaper. But in thinking on it I came to realize that real flowers were what was needed today. And once I came up with the person it was even more clear that real flowers would be the perfect gift. I did torment myself all day trying to think of someone. And no it wasn’t for the overabundance of people I wanted to give flowers to. (Which I found to be terribly sad! Shouldn’t I have lots of people I would love to give flowers to?) But of my short list of fluctuating uncertainty I couldn’t settle on any that just felt right. I spent most of my time trying to figure out just where I was called to give them today.
But once I realized the “who” I was invigorated and sprung to action. I got up, went to the store, bought flowers specifically for this person, and then called them to let them know I was coming over. The who was my Mom-in-law. She and my Dad-in-law are always doing amazing things for me, Ryan, and Nora and I think we do a pretty paltry job of showing them our thanks. We say “Thank you” and by all means we mean it, but I realized in getting these flowers that we do do a very, very poor job of expressing thanks in meaningful ways -- like in a bouquet of simple flowers.
There is love in action not just in words (see Day 21). God shows me all the time how through actions just how much He loves me. I need to remember to express my gratitude towards others in the same way.
I called my Mom-in-law to say I would be over in 10 minutes. She said my Dad-in-law had just headed out he could swing by. I said I was out and that I could just swing by. Then she said he was heading to the Rite Aid. Which was amazingly awesome because I was at the dollar store (to buy a vase for the flowers and some Snickers for my Dad-in-law) and that store is attached/next door to the Rite Aid!
I finished up and went outside and saw his car in the parking lot. I stood outside the Rite Aid door and waited a few minutes until he came out. My Mom-in-law had called him to let him know I might see him, so he wasn’t surprised. But he was surprised by what I had in my hands. He asked me what it was for and I told him it was because they are so wonderful to us all the time. And then I also explained that the Lenten Calendar said to buy someone flowers today. I had to give the calendar credit because this was not a truthy altruism today; I did have to have a calendar prompt me to do the obvious. And my saying the “calendar said to” I could see this made better sense to him.
But this Lent is “working” because I already have committed to myself that I will be doing this of my own accord in the coming months. I came to this decision during those moments of reflection while waiting in line to buy the flowers. I had this “aha!” moment of “You know you can just do this whenever you feel like it, right? This doesn’t have to be a planned activity. You should do stuff like this more.”
God is patient with me. He knows me. He knows I need this gentle nudging to follow Him more fully. He knows right now I am at a place where I need a calendar to help me better serve Him. But He also wants me to stand on my own and not only choose Him every day, in all things - the big and the small. But to choose Him and then share Him.
My hope for this Lent is that I grow better in remembering those simple acts of showing someone you love them. God gives us so many beautiful ways to bring His love into the world. We need to do our part in remembering that it isn’t always about “go big or go home” - some days we are called to do those big things (and we can pray that on those days we are bold enough to embrace God’s call with a loving “Yes”) and some days we are simply called to give someone flowers.
Part 2: It was comforting to hear this message in a homily: God knows that we are sinners. We will try and inevitably at times we will fail. Because we fail it doesn’t mean we should stop trying. God wants us always to continue to try. >> How applicable to my life! I fail at various times and in various ways, but I shouldn’t give up on myself and always continue to try because God doesn’t give up on me.
Day 28 Tuesday March 17 - [P] Service
RO: Christ came to die for our sins that we can be brought to new life. And if we want to do that we have to follow His footsteps. // Things of this world can be good, but there is something greater. // Christ can be your everything. We need to journey with Him. // Pray this prayer: God, stir my affections for you. Let me desire you above everything else of this world. Let me pursue you to death to new life.
Ezekiel 47: 1-9, 12
He said to me, “...Wherever the river flows, every sort of living creature that can multiply shall live, and there shall be abundant fish, for wherever this water comes the sea shall be made fresh. Along both banks of the river, fruit trees of every kind shall grow; their leaves shall not fade, nor their fruit fail. Every month they shall bear fresh fruit, for they shall be watered by the flow from the sanctuary. Their fruit shall serve for food, and their leaves for medicine.”
John 5: 1-16
One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be well?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me.” Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your mat, and walk.” Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked.
This Gospel message is beautiful, but also a challenge. The message is about things happening in God’s time, not in our own. I’m sure if it was up to the ill man he would have chosen Jesus to heal him perhaps thirty-eight years sooner. But no, he had to be patient and suffer every day, wait and hope, every day being discouraged because his illness and weakness prevented him from accessing the waters he thought would heal him. And then at the proper time Jesus came and the answer did not reside in the waters of Bethesda, but within the healing waters of God’s love. Here is a man who for thirty-eight years wondered where God was for him in his life. And then God revealed himself to him and cured him.
What patience! I don’t even like waiting one week. I can’t imagine how hard every day must have been longing for being saved but never receiving the answer for years. But that’s just it: There was an answer and the answer was beautiful. We may have weaknesses, but if we continue to hope in the Lord we will receive the glory of God. We may long for it in this life, but at a minimum, if we are faithful, we will receive it in the next.
In moments of doubt and darkness and wondering where God is in the world we need to remember to cling to this -- God is there with us. We may not be able to see it. We may not understand. We may hope for Him to intervene. But we need to be patient and trust and hope in the Lord.
And what was the greater purpose and why this was the right time? Because this act by Jesus sets the Jewish leadership on their path of His persecution. And Jesus welcomes it! The Jewish leadership wanted to persecute the man who performed the miracle, but the man did not know who cured him and what did Jesus do? Did he hide in the crowd to try to go unnoticed? No! Jesus sought the man out! He went to the man so that the man may know Him. The healed man should have gone and not sinned any more, as Jesus instructed, but being weak he instead then went and told the Jews exactly who had healed him. This is both disheartening and heartening. A man, literally just healed by Jesus and told to sin no more, immediately goes and sins (or at least I’d call turning Jesus over to his persecutors sinning; but perhaps I am incorrect in this judgment)! But the longer term result was the fact that Jesus died on the cross for us. Jesus did not shy away from staying on God’s path. He embraced it! He loved us so much that He put His Father above all else in this world, even His own life, and did God’s will.
Day 29 Wednesday March 18 - [F] Only water to drink today
RO: Are you following Jesus close enough to be seen with Him? To be somebody who is related to Him? To be a disciple? Or are you still keeping a distance from Him? Lent is about growing deeper in our faith and following Jesus more closely. And here is the greatest part: The Advocate, The Holy Spirit, helps us along our way. So pray that the Holy Spirit gives you an accurate description of who God is, fall in love with Him, become a fan, follow Him more closely this Lent.
Isaiah 49: 8-15
Thus says the LORD: In a time of favor I answer you, on the day of salvation I help you; // For the LORD comforts his people and shows mercy to his afflicted. But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.” Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.
John 5: 17-30
I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me
A homily message was this: Make peace with the fact that you are a human and because you are human you will make mistakes. It’s okay! Make peace with being a sinner. Forgive yourself. God knows that you are human and will make mistakes. God still loves you. (This is Fr. Joe again, by the way. Turns out I really love his homilies!)
How funny. As I got ready for bed on Day 27, after having written my reflection on the day, and feeling a bit down about my failings, I could hear in my head the voice of my sister Bridgette telling me all the nice things that I do and to not beat myself up over these things; giving me encouragement like she so often does. And then a list of the recent things I’ve done went thru my head. It made me actually smile. I felt good. I thanked God for His kindness. He helped me to remember those times when I chose Him and He let me know that it made Him happy.
It was a nice message that God doesn’t want me to just focus on the times that I fail. He wants me to take joy in the fact I am following Him as best I can. He wants me to be conscious of when I err because He wants me to get better at choosing Him. Because if I don’t keep Him in mind I won’t see the times when I have not chosen Him and He wants to give me the opportunity to come back to Him in the next thing I do.
No comments:
Post a Comment