Your struggle with fear is a natural thing for many people. But, do not let your fear drive you. Fear, while good at times because it can help you identify something dangerous or risky, is not something that should make your decisions or guide your life. Fear is something that you should recognize and then deal with directly. You are in control; fear is not in control. Plus, love drives out fear. Light is more powerful than darkness. Fear makes us feel trapped and scared. But Jesus tells us that we don't need to spend time with those negative emotions because His Way defeats darkness and with Him we can overcome fear. If you are overwhelmed by fear, let Jesus drive the darkness out. I think that could happen even by you trusting Him to take care of you.
I recommend acknowledging your emotions, but if they are making you feel fear and aren't identifying anything new, you have to put them in their place and tell them to shut up:
"I hear you, fear, but I don't have time to spend with you. You only say the same things over and over again. I hear you, but I'm not going to sit here for minutes or hours letting you repeat the same few things. You have nothing new to say so we're done talking. I have stuff to do."
Acknowledge your fear and then put it in its place. We have lives in God's love that are made to overcome fear. Fear is a lie. Light and love are truth. Right now -- and always -- you're seeking truth, so let God help you cast out the fear.
Eventually, we have to take a leap of faith! Change is hard. I know you're praying for God to lead and help you in your decision, which is the best prayer. I hope you receive consolation that helps you move in a certain direction -- or even get an answer, that would be awesome! Most likely you will have to do your best to make a decision, even if you are afraid. If you leap, God is with you and just call on Him. Then go in trust; He will take care of you. Then your prayer can become, "Ok, God, I'm doing this. Please be with me and work it all out."
And lastly, God knows you, He loves you, and He delights in you! He knows this is hard for you, and He is so happy to support you and lead you through it. He wants to give you freedom from anything that is holding you back. Keep trusting in Him!
As you discern, make sure you base your decision on hope and not on fear. Fear is a lie. Fear is the opposite of love. Let love and light and hope have the power!
