In a Funk, but it's OK

Well, I have been in a funk for the past few weeks. I feel out of touch with myself and disconnected from God, and it’s a hard place to be.

I feel like I’m just doing the things I usually do without as much passion and purpose, though I’m still trying to reach out to others and do what is right. I feel like I don’t know if I’m choosing God’s will in the decisions I’m making. I’m not listening to God. I’m not making time for Him or being mindful of His ways. I’m just moving along, saying hi to Him or offering quick prayers, but not listening to Him or feeling Him moving in me. I feel like I am making myself too busy, and I don’t want to be busy anymore, but that I can’t stop moving because of my commitments, and each individual commitment isn’t the strain, it’s all of them together. I need a break. I need to have wide open time for myself. And if I got time, I’d have to use it to just be with God and to do prayerful, quiet things. But I have projects, ideas, and responsibilities running through my brain with no time to make them happen so they begin to overwhelm me. Disconnected and stretched thin. Yeah, I’m in a funk.

I need to reconnect to myself and my relationship with God. So, how do I do this? And yep, that’s pretty much where I am right now.

No answers.

You know why? I’m not listening. I’m not even making an effort to pray about it. I guess I’m just waiting until I feel more inspired. Well, guess what – the Holy Spirit inspires and I haven’t been inviting Him in. 

Also, I feel like since I’ve been making my own decisions even though I’m unsure of God’s will, it’s harder to go to God and to ask Him what is right. Like, am I afraid of the answer? Am I afraid of changes I would have to make?

God is there; He always is. He loves; He always does. He is merciful, kind, and generous. I need to ask Him to give me the grace to listen and to come into my heart and transform me to His will.

I need a conversion. Every day, as a Christian, I am called to convert and give my life to Christ and to follow in His ways.

So right now I am saying, “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.” And “Come, Lord Jesus”. And telling myself over and over that God loves me, and thanking Him for His many blessings. 

And you know what, while funks are hard because being disconnected is a struggle, funks can have value. Our life, our journey with God, has ups and downs and twists and turns. Growth can happen in funks. So I am present in my funk… and ok with being here so long as I don’t keep myself here out of laziness, busy-ness, or any other self-made reason. God is with me, and He will lift me up, in time. As the quotation of my grandma’s old Sacred Heart picture reads, “Don’t be discouraged.” God is there. He is always there.