We are not alone - God is pursuing us.

Photo by Maureen Kennedy Macel

When my 2-year-old niece and I play outside at my parents’ house, she loves to run down the sidewalk to the end of the street. A few weeks ago on a warm and sunny day, she took off running, never looking back, and laughing with delight the entire way.

I didn’t want her to get too far, so I was running quietly and closely behind her. Suddenly, a dog barked from inside a neighbor’s house, and I saw fear flash across her face and she froze. She quickly turned to run back to the safety of our family, and as she turned, I was there within arms length, and I reached for her. She saw me, and I saw her fear disappear in an instant. She flashed a big smile, turned around, and started running away again.

My niece's running is totally beautiful and innocent, but through this God allowed me to see:

• Sometimes we are running full speed toward our own desires and away from God's best for us. No matter where we go, or how far go, or how lost and alone we feel, Jesus never leaves our side. He is pursuing us. When we stop, he is there. When we turn toward what is good and true, the way back is not as long as we may expect because at that exact moment, God is reaching for us. He closes the distance. He will carry us to the way of real love and possibility.
• When I reached out for Nora, I was so deeply happy to see her fear disappear because she knew she was safe.  If this is my human experience of love and joy of being there for a child, imagine how much more God who is holy and the source of all love experiences love and joy for his children.
• God will always chase us with only love in his sight. And in the moments when we stop, he reaches for us and rejoices that he can be our Savior, Protector, Rescuer, and Friend.

The Lord will always be pursuing and waiting for us. He rejoices when we stop, when we turn back, and when we grab hold of his arms and let him carry us.  His heart is pure mercy.

A Beautiful Reconciliation

By Maureen Kennedy Macel

At confession I confessed my sins, including a few I have been holding on to for a while. It was hard to confess them. Not because I don’t regret them, but because it is hard to say them aloud and admit them - to another person, to God, and to myself. Even though God already is aware of my sins, I felt it hard to admit my sins and ask for forgiveness.

But there I was in the confessional admitting my sins, one after another. It sounded like I was a terrible person. I felt like a terrible person. In some ways I wanted to put some caveats on my sins, explain to the priest “well this one happened way back when…” or “that sounds bad but let me explain the circumstances a bit more…”. But when it comes down to it all there is the sin and me. God doesn’t want my excuses. God wants my sorrow, my regret, my repentance.

And then he wants to forgive me. He loves me despite my sins, but he wants me to come to Him and seek repentance and then change my ways and sin no more. He offers me His light and He wants me to live in it. When I sin it is I who choose darkness instead of light. But God is great, loving, forgiving, ready to welcome me back with open arms when I seek reconciliation.

To face your decisions, especially your regrettable ones, requires surrender. To surrender to your ego, your denial, your avoidance of the truth. It is not easy. But when you do it, after it is all done and you’ve been given a beautiful penance (yes, a penance can be beautiful) and you are restored into his light, you see that surrendering in Reconciliation is a beautiful surrender.

When we stand before God on our Judgement Day we will be a sum of what we have done - in thought, word, and deed. God will not ask us to explain our decisions. The fear (and beauty) of that day inspires me to make the decisions God wants me to make. I am the sum of my decisions. Since every moment I exist He sees the true me, I should live in a way that acknowledges this so that when I stand before Him on that day, I will not fear Him seeing me in the truth of who I was.

At my moment of judgement all that I try to cover myself with to hide my failings will be stripped away. My soul will be naked before God. Jesus will be my advocate at my side, but it is I who will face judgement and decide if I am worthy of God’s grace or not. I pray to God that I find myself to be worthy enough to choose His eternal love. Contemplating that moment strikes me with fear - because I know I don’t fully understand his love and grace, but I hope that I understand it enough to prepare myself to meet that moment as best I can.

http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/index.cfm
http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/how-we-teach/catechesis/catechetical-sunday/sacramental-forgiveness/theological-reflection-dumont.cfm

Are you in the Light?

By Maureen Kennedy Macel

At 9pm on a late December Sunday night I stood outside of St. Bonaventure waiting for Ryan and Nora to pick me up after my program was complete. It was an unseasonably warm night and a light rain had just finished misting. I stood on the sidewalk near a lamppost in what looked like it was in the light. “Ryan will see me here,” I thought, since I was in the light. A few moments later I thought to go to the other side of the lamppost and onto the edge of the driveway so that when Ryan did stop it would be easier for him to turn around. I went to the other side and stood and immediately realized that this new spot was where the light was truly shining.

I turned around and looked at my previous spot on the sidewalk, and yes, some light was shining there, but it was a shadowy light because the light first had to get thru some bare branches of a tree to reach it.

Only when I was in the true light did I see that I hadn’t been standing in the best place.

*Lightbulb* and a “Thank you God for that moment.” followed.

On my faith journey I continue to grow towards God, make room for Him, do what He is calling me to do. But I know that where I am and where I can be is the difference between the one side of that lamppost and the other. I am out of the darkness. I am in His light. But I have a ways to go and grow before I come fully into His light. And I am sure that His full light is beautiful, even more than anything I could ever imagine it to be. And I am blessed to know that I want to live in His light - now and forever.

Sometimes God gives you a “Thank you for saying “Yes” to me.” moment. He doesn’t need to remind you that saying “Yes” to Him is what He calls you to do. But He loves you and wants to help you continue to live and grow in the Light and so He shines a little thanks down. I thank God for the moments He gives me thoughts about lampposts and light and how well (or poorly) I am doing what He calls me to do compared to where he is calling me to be.

“Come,” my heart says, “seek his face!” Your face, Lord, do I seek.” - Psalm 27:8

“Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long.” - Psalm 25:5

Let God Embrace You. Embrace Him Back.

by Maureen Kennedy Macel

One time during mass Fr. Joe paused right before Holy Communion and addressed everyone saying, “As you come up for Communion really allow God to embrace you.” It was a beautiful interjection that of course left me thinking and reflecting for awhile.

It was beautiful in its own right because God is always there ready to embrace you. It’s really a matter of you being willing to let Him embrace you. But then I realized an important piece was missing to this sentiment.

God can embrace us day after day and when you let Him embrace you get to experience the joy of His peaceful, freeing, perfect and loving embrace. It was nice to be reminded of “Hey Maureen, I’m here waiting for you. Let me hug you!” But that’s not where it stops - you need to go one step further. You need to Embrace Him Back.

Embracing Him Back requires you not only let God in and into your heart and soul where He can fill you with His love, but that you open up your arms and fully open your heart back to Him and truly accept His love and that He is calling you His and wants you to live for Him.

A one-sided hug is not as satisfying as a two-sided one.

I talked about this with Bridgette and we realized this same situation plays out in our own lives. We love hugging Nora. We often chase her around requesting hugs. Nora will run around and be her amazing independent self and sometimes when you ask her for a hug she says yes but sometimes she says no. And when she says “Yes” and lets us hug her we are filled with great joy. And Nora is funny because she often lets you hug her but doesn’t raise her arms up to hug you back  - it’s like she knows we really, really, really want that hug and so she agrees to let us hug her, but she is just doing it to make us happy. But sometimes when we hug her she hugs us back and when she gives us that hug we are filled with such great joy that our hearts could burst.

This is just a microcosm of an experience compared to who God is and how He wishes to embrace us. His love is infinite and truly incomprehensible, but being able to relate what this might be like for God and His hopes for me - it makes me feel so loved. God loves me so much that all He longs to do is embrace me. And He patiently waits for me to embrace Him back. There is no good reason to not lift my arms, open my heart, and enter into His embrace. And luckily for me (and for you!) it’s a hug that does not ever need to actually end. And the good news is God doesn’t hug us one by one - I don’t have to wait for Him to finish hugging you before He can hug me. We are blessed because we have a God who embraces each and everyone one of us every moment. We just need to remember that He is there and that we can turn to Him and stay in His embrace. And then with God’s grace hopefully we will find ourselves open enough to embrace Him back and smart enough to never let go.

As for me getting to embrace Nora - well that looks like I will be a long life of chasing her and waiting for those fleeting beautiful moments when she let’s me hug her and she hugs me back.

How do you handle a challenge?

...so that through the church the wisdom of God in its rich variety might now be made known ... Eph 3:10

Today Pope Francis called on humanity to respect the environment, and it's angering some Catholic Christians and Christians. But what is your faith if it doesn't challenge you?  If something in the Christian faith challenges us, good!  It's supposed to!  When we apply Jesus' teachings to our lives, sometimes we find that we're the disciples, the good followers. And other times, we find that we're the pharisees, the hypocrites or those who are driven by ego. If our faith doesn't challenge us, then we are in danger of making ourselves into our own gods -- that what we say and feel and think is the Truth. 

Instead, we should take our disagreements to the Lord in prayer. "God opposes the proud but bestows favor on the humble" 1 Peter 5:5.

God gave us a heart to love and a mind to reason. Ask the Lord to move your heart with his wisdom. Ask him to form your conscience. There is a place for everyone in the Church, the Body of Christ. So even when we disagree with the teachings of the Church, we are right to be open to the "Word of God, the teaching of the Church, the Holy Spirit, and the advice of wise people" (CCC 1783-88, 1799-1800).

Let us make sure our words and actions are rooted in love.

Lent 2015: Week 6 Reflections

Photo by Maureen Kennedy Macel

"A Good Life" presents a special Lenten blog post by Maureen Kennedy Macel (Week 6): 

Day 37 Thursday March 26 - [P] Mercy

RO37: We need this God who is beyond the pains of our earth. We have this savior that says, “Hold on to me. I’ve got your back. I’m for you, not against you.” // In those moments of suffering ..if you know God already you will see Him. Maybe not standing right in front of you, but ...God is there. He will make  himself present to you// Get to know God now because those things are coming down the road. // Find your strength in the Lord and He’ll raise you up in those moments when no other human being can.

Genesis 17: 3-9
God also said to Abraham: “On your part, you and your descendants after you must keep my covenant throughout the ages.”

John 8: 51-59
Jesus said to the Jews: “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death.”

I often ask God to have mercy on me for my failings. And even though I can read/hear countless verses from the Bible about how I am to show mercy to others just as God shows it to me (The Lord’s Prayer Luke 11: 1-4; The Good Samaritan Luke 10: 25-37; The Prodigal Son Luke 15: 11-32; The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant Matthew 18: 21-35) it can still be really hard to show that mercy when the moment comes for me to do so.

In the moment I are called to show mercy I often let myself get in the way because I am the center of my world. I am the most important thing and how I feel is what matters and what I think is right and just is what is right and just. But I am wrong. Very wrong.

The Bible is filled with parables but they are not just meant to be lessons all wrapped up in pretty verses for me to listen to, think I know, but then fail to live out when the time comes. These words are supposed to guide my actions especially in those moments when I find it hardest to forgive.

It can be hard work to forgive those that have trespassed against us. I definitely can find myself saying, “I know. I know. That is what I’m supposed to do. But in this case I am definitely justified not forgiving because look at what’s been done!” God doesn’t say it’s easy to live this way. But he calls us to try because we shouldn’t let the sin of another become a sin on our own hearts.

Day 38 Friday March 27 - [F] Do not listen to music in the car

RO38: We’re not meant to live this life on our own. We’re not meant to go at this alone. That’s not how God created it. Suffering and hard times are going to come in everyone’s lives. It’s going to happen. The question is are we able to take that suffering, to take the panoramic view, and to see it as an opportunity not only in our relationship with God but to grow in our relationship with others. To be able to step outside of ourselves. And to find that hope and be able to trust in God’s plan for us again. // Our challenge is to be able to look at the hardships in our lives, those times of sufferings, and see them as opportunities to grow. // In turning to God you will find the hope and the peace and the joy that you never thought possible.

Jeremiah 20: 10-13
But the LORD is with me, like a mighty champion: my persecutors will stumble, they will not triumph.

John 10: 31-42
Even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.

I’ve been reflecting on prayers recently and praying - saying “standard” prayers or reading those of others or thinking of my own. And instead of writing up a long-winded rambling about my personal experience with prayer (which I did and then deleted because it definitely was long-winded, rambling, and I’m not even sure if it had a point?) -- and which prayers I find most moving to my soul -- God gave me some time to pause, step back, and just focus on this one thing:

God wants us to pray. He wants us to mean it - say/think the words and feel them, believe them, and trust in Him. Sometimes it is hard to clear your head and focus and really commit yourself to that moment of prayer. But try, and continue trying. Because sometimes it is the prayer that is important, but always it is praying that is important.

Take some time to talk to God. And then take some time to listen.

Day 39 Saturday March 28 - [S] Deliver your food bank items

RO39: You’re not alone. When Jesus was here on this earth he went through betrayal. // Jesus knows what it’s like to be alone. // God can give you the grace to forgive. // In our own lives God has a vision for us. Do we miss out on that vision because when we are betrayed by people we allow it to take away from really experiencing the love of God from really seeing all the love that God has for us. // Look at betrayal in light of the cross. That out of the cross came life. The life that God wants to give you. Will you accept the life that He wants to give you?

Ezekial 37: 21-28
I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

John 11: 45-56
So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said, “What are we going to do?  This man is performing many signs. If we leave him alone, all will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our land and our nation.”

I have a box of food bank items in my entry way. They’ve been there for about one month waiting. I somewhat intended to deliver them today, though when given the opportunity to make other plans I did that and so never got around to delivering to it.

I mean, I can justify that I could wait and just do it some other time. But I feel like that is a running theme in my life. I have good (or decent-ish) intentions and then just fail a bit on the follow through.

I did spent the day in a great way - one which God I think approves. But still I was to do this thing for Him but just kind of dropped it because I was focusing on this other thing.

I mean, this other thing was a prayer retreat with my mom Ruth and Bridgette in Uniontown at The Sisters of the Order of St. Basil the Great. So I did spend over half of my day in a prayerful place (followed by more “Me & God” time at mass) and it was amazing to connect with God.

But sometimes prayer and living for God isn’t just about our internal journey; it needs to also be one of community.

I often do get so caught up in my prayerfulness and focusing on me and my personal relationship with God that I neglect the external -- which is basically everything else in the world and stuff that I know God does want me to care about. Like donating to a food bank.

And so I hope to get around to dropping off my “Food Pantry” box. But until then at least it is in my entry way gently reminding me (mocking me) that I need to do a better job of actively helping others.

May 11 Update: Funny how God comes to you when you fail to go to Him -- I received a postcard in the mail saying the Post-Office was doing a food drive. All I needed to do was to place a bag of items by my mailbox and the mailman would pick it up. So… Thanks for the help, God!

Day 40 Palm Sunday March 29 - [P] Peace

RO40: A fast is supposed to help you gain control, self-mastery over the passions of your life. Sit down with the Holy Spirit and say “Lord, you tell me, what is something you want me to fast on during this Lenten experience?” // Real prayer. Consider making a dedicated time to pray. // Get into the scriptures. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you which book of the scriptures He wants you to dive into. Then spend some time digging into the Word of God and then ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you how you should apply it to your life.

John 12: 12-16
When the great crowd that had come to the feast heard  that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, they took palm branches and went out to meet him, and cried out: “Hosanna! “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, the king of Israel.”

Isaiah 50: 4-7
Morning after morning he opens my ear that I may hear; // The Lord GOD is my help, therefore I am not disgraced; I have set my face like flint, knowing that I shall not be put to shame.

Philippians 2: 6-11
Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Mark 14: 1-15, 47
The poor you will always have with you, and whenever you wish you can do good to them, but you will not always have me.// Take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will.” // Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” //  It was nine o’clock in the morning when they crucified him. The inscription of the charge against him read, “The King of the Jews.”

In the Palm Sunday readings we hear many stories about Jesus’ sacrifice for us. And in that story we watch Peter deny Jesus three times. We know it’s coming. We know he’ll do it before the cock crows twice. What’s more is we know that Jesus even tells Peter that he will fail Him - and so Peter himself even knew it was coming.

Instead of being disheartened by this I actually find it encouraging.

Think about it: Jesus’ hand-picked disciple, who knew Jesus in the flesh, who loved Jesus, who believed Jesus, who followed Him, and who was even given the “heads up” by Jesus himself that he was about to fail Jesus still had a hard time following Jesus.

Why I find this encouraging: Even Jesus’ disciples made mistakes.

Peter failed Jesus even though he knew him personally and God revealed Himself to his very face. He was constantly in His presence learning God’s message and living with God for God. And yet he still wasn’t a perfect follower.

When a challenging moment came to pick God over something else (money, vanity, self-interest) even Jesus disciples chose themselves instead of Him.

But what is even more encouraging is that Peter doesn’t use the shame he felt in failing Jesus to hide away from the world forever, to think he wasn’t worthy and therefore no longer try to follow Him. No! What did he then do? Peter recognized his failings and then worked hard to be better disciple. He proclaimed the Gospel and helped build the church.

Day 41 Monday March 30 - [F] No desserts or treats today

I skipped this day for reasons I will explain below.

Day 42 Tuesday March 31 - [S] Buy dog or cat food for an animal shelter (deliver on Saturday)

Today I will just convey a message from Bishop Zubik which was a message of God’s mercy. His homily was about forgiving others - showing them the same mercy that God shows us. And to always remember that because Jesus died on the cross for us he took on our sins and gained us God’s forgiveness. Through Jesus our sins are “Forgiven. Forgotten. Forever.” With this message Bishop Zubik stressed: “Hear it. Believe it. Embrace it.”

Day 43 Wednesday April 1 - [P] Kindness
Day 44 Holy Thursday April 2 - [F] No TV or screens today
Day 45 Good Friday April 3 - [S] Plan a tree or flowers
Day 46 Holy Saturday April 4 - [S] Deliver animal items
Day 47 Easter Sunday April 5 - [P] Resurrection

Over the last week we were in and out of the hospital 3x with Nora…. I meant to eventually get around to writing reflections but I never did. I wanted my Holy Week reflections to be so perfect for Holy Week, but that all got tossed to the wayside as we focused on our little bean and prayer.

I hope that everyone had a Blessed Easter! We did! - All we wanted was to have Nora healthy enough to go to mass with my family and we were able to! (PS. She is better now, just had a terrible bout of croup.)

Let's Meet in the Middle

Photo by Maureen Kennedy Macel

By Maureen Kennedy Macel

Have you ever looked around the pews at mass and have it look as though Moses had parted the Red Sea? I have often wondered why it is that people like to sit snug on the ends and avoid the middle. Perhaps it is because they don’t want to be stuck in the middle if they have to get up or go. Perhaps they have claustrophobia. Perhaps you are one of those people.

If you are I challenge you to reflect on why it is you like to sit on the end. Why are you sitting there? Is it because you want to be able to leave whenever you want? If you are going to take the time to go to mass don’t you think you should fully commit to being at mass for as long as the mass will take? Give that hour-or-so to God and give it to Him fully. Do not hold yourself back.

I challenge you to slide down and sit in the middle.

The first time you do it it may be hard. You may not like it. But try it and truly commit to being at mass. Do not look forward to the end when you can rush out. Try it a few times and watch what happens. How do you feel?

Take it from a former end sitter - there is a peace, a calmness, a feeling of community you get when you seat yourself in the middle of that parted sea and bridge the gap between the left and right.  You are not worried about being crowded in. You welcome it. You are not worried about when the mass will end. You embrace its length.

Have you ever gone into mass late and wished someone had sat in the middle so that you could easily enter a pew? Wouldn’t it have been nice to see a welcoming row where you didn’t have to squeeze past an end sitter or cause them to begrudgingly slide to the middle? When you sit in the middle willingly you make your row feel so welcoming. It has been my experience that when I sit in the middle my row fills up with more people. And that translates into me feeling more connected to the mass community which makes the communal experience of the mass all the greater.

Mass is not a solo event held just for you to come and check in with God, to cross Him off your “to do” list. No! Mass is a communal event meant for you to come and check in with God and other believers and feel God’s love then live God’s love. Through mass God gives you a place to share in your love of God with others who want to experience God too. The point isn’t to “go to mass”. The point is to celebrate mass.

How better to celebrate than to sit in the middle, commit yourself to being fully present during the mass, create a welcoming community, and close the parted sea?